C3 Session 21 - Thoughts and Behaviors

Key Questions

Who should you not consider when a situation arises?

What do you do to remain level-headed in a highly emotional situation?  

Where in your body do you start to feel different when a difficult situation arises? 

Why is it necessary to review your emotional state before reacting? 

When you react to a situation without all the facts what can happen?  

How many times will things happen in life that you may not like? 

The Thought Process

Step 1  An action happens out of your control (life)

Step 2  Your belief system (VESPM) is activated 

Step 3  You react and consequences follow

Step 2 is often overlooked, though most important. Let's look at an example;

(Step 1) Someone doesn’t hold the door for you.

(Step 2) Your belief system tells you that they were being rude or they don’t like you. You make statements like "They ruined my day"

(Step 3) You react by giving them a dirty look. 

(Step 4) Neuroplasticity happens during step 2 (you learn to think differently) You understand that you do not have all the facts and that they are rushing due to a situation unknown to you. You are now open to many reasons as to why they didn't hold the door. You don't take it personally and go on about your day.

*Your Behaviors

• (cognitive shift) stop and ask yourself, (1)What is another way you can look at this situation? (2)Have you gotten all the information you can get to make the correct judgment about the situation? and (3)What if the consequences are not even worth a reaction at all?

• After considering these questions, you can now react productively.

• This process is called a cognitive shift. 

Self Reflection Points

• Take into consideration your current state of emotion as well as the other persons when dealing with a situation. 

• Having healthy VESPM beliefs will lead to healthy behaviors.

• If you feel like you've experienced this situation before your reaction may be heightened or prejudgemental. Be mindful that you're not mixing up old emotions with new experiences. 

• A present mind state will usually consider all matters at hand without prejudging or comparing the current situation to another.

• Developing a cognitive shift is a more productive way of thinking and will lead to a better outcome.

Q - Did this session teach you how your past experiences can help you make wiser, more rational decisions?

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