Cycle 4  Relationships

Self-consciousness VS Self-awareness

C4 Session 26 - Self-consciousness vs Self-awareness 


Key Questions

WHO has the right to tell you how to look? 

WHAT are some childhood beliefs you were told about being pretty/handsome?

WHERE do you prefer to go when you enter a crowded room?

WHY do you think most people try to look the same even though each person is still unique?

WHEN you go out do you prefer to look more like your natural self or make a few adjustments?

HOW do you feel when someone/something suggests you should change who you are?


Self-consciousness - Being preoccupied with how others think about you. Insecurity, fear of not being valued by another person, looking for the approval of others in order to feel good. Willing to adjust according to someone else's boundaries even if you're uncomfortable. 

Self-awareness - Conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. Feels comfortable with self and choices in life. Able to set boundaries around likes and dislikes. Humble, able to read the mood in the room and act accordingly.  

Self-esteem

Let’s start from the beginning. When we were born we had no self-esteem, no opinions, perceptions, or views about ourselves. We learned these things from the opinions of the people we first came in contact with. We believed that information to be true and used these beliefs to compare ourselves to others. This then formed our belief system about ourselves which we call our self-esteem. 

Example;

E1. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you agree, you smile and say "thank you".

E2. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you disagree, you look down feel insulted, and say "No I don’t". 

E3. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you get offended, you yell at them and say, "Are you trying to be sarcastic"?


Self-Reflection Points


"Be yourself, Everyone else is taken" - Unknown


Q - In this session did you learn how to set filtered boundaries while in a relationship?


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