C4 Session 26 - Self-consciousness vs Self-awareness 

Key Questions

WHO has the right to tell you how to look? 

WHAT are some childhood beliefs you were told about being pretty/handsome?

WHERE do you prefer to go when you enter a crowded room?

WHY do you think most people try to look the same even though each person is still unique?

WHEN you go out do you prefer to look more like your natural self or make a few adjustments?

HOW do you feel when someone/something suggests you should change who you are?

Self-consciousness - Being preoccupied with how others think about you. Insecurity, fear of not being valued by another person, looking for the approval of others in order to feel good. Willing to adjust according to someone else's boundaries even if you're uncomfortable. 

Self-awareness - Conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. Feels comfortable with self and choices in life. Able to set boundaries around likes and dislikes. Humble, able to read the mood in the room and act accordingly.  

Self-esteem

Let’s start from the beginning. When we were born we had no self-esteem, no opinions, perceptions, or views about ourselves. We learned these things from the opinions of the people we first came in contact with. We believed that information to be true and used these beliefs to compare ourselves to others. This then formed our belief system about ourselves which we call our self-esteem. 

Example;

E1. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you agree, you smile and say "thank you".

E2. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you disagree, you look down feel insulted, and say "No I don’t". 

E3. (A) Someone says "You look nice". (B) Based on what you believe, (C) you get offended, you yell at them and say, "Are you trying to be sarcastic"?

Self-Reflection Points

• We are all unique and will never be like someone else. That in itself is what makes us all amazing.

• The right hand can't do the job of the right foot, Yet they are both very important. Different uses but still very much needed for the body to move in a harmonious flow. We all are different and when we try to be like someone else we may be living outside of the harmonious flow of life. 

• Remember "The power of attraction" can work for you or against you. If you appear to be something you're not you may attract something you don't want and vs vs.

• To judge others you set a standard for yourself. Be kind and kindness will be extended to you. 

• If you are not comfortable with yourself, why would someone else be?

"Be yourself, Everyone else is taken" - Unknown

Q - In this session did you learn how to set filtered boundaries while in a relationship?

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