C6 Session 43 - Establishing Your Boundaries

Key Questions

WHO should your boundaries be set up to protect?  

WHAT boundaries were set for you as a child that you would like to keep in your life? 

WHERE are your boundaries when it comes to your family or close friends?

WHY must you know and respect your own boundaries?

WHEN is it appropriate to let someone know when they are not respecting your boundaries?

HOW may people react if your boundaries are constantly changing? 

Self-Reflection Points

• Your inner circle should be a safe place for you to move and express yourself freely. 

• If someone is constantly trying to push past your boundaries in a manipulating or narcissistic way you may have to be assertive and be clear as to what you will not tolerate or just take your leave. 

• When you were a young child most likely clear boundaries were set up for you to follow. That didn't affect the love someone had for you but those boundaries helped to build character. 

• Setting up your boundaries according to your VESPM health will help you to be consistent and clear as to what your boundaries are.  It will also give others an opportunity to show you respect and build a healthy relationship.

• Identifying the boundaries you already have in place will help you in setting up additional boundaries. ie; If you know I don't like... then why would ....? 

• Be mindful of what you want to keep private and from who. 

• When using social media your boundaries can be expressed by what you post.

• Setting up boundaries and standing up for your VESPM health is the foundation of who you are and can only be enforced by you. If someone else has to speak up for your boundaries what message is that sending? Maybe the boundaries that are set are not yours.

• If a close friend or intimate partner's values start to change in a way you don't agree with that should be a red flag for you.  If someone is willing to disregard their values then why would they regard yours?  

• If you are not consistent in respecting your own boundaries the people who love you will not take advantage of the situation but will remind you of your values and help you stay on track. Having a healthy support system around is essential for this to happen.

Q - In this session did you learn about social awareness and self-management?

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