C4 Session 29 - Building a Healthy Relationship

Key Questions

WHO is your ideal partner? 

WHAT V.E.S.P.M. trait should be solid in you before looking for a partner?

WHERE should they be as far as reaching their goals in life? Are they willing to support you in reaching your goals?

WHY do you want to share your energy, space, and goals with this person? 

WHEN you start a partnership with this person what are your intentions or expectations for the future? 

HOW will staying in this relationship benefit both of you? 

CAN both of you handle the financial, physical, and emotional requirements, and also give the time and attention that will be needed to maintain this relationship? 

8 Stages of Connection

These stages may look different depending on a person's culture or situation. 

Stage 1- Attraction – Impressed by superficial qualities. A person's physical appearance, conversation, or actions.

Stage 2- Connection – Finding things in common when it comes to V.E.S.P.M. plan

Stage 3- Partnership – Building trust and respect & becoming a team. 

Stage 4- Exploring - Less restrictive boundaries are set, and getting to know and explore each other's world.  

Stage 5- Acceptance – Taking in all the information and deciding if you will accept them unconditionally.

Stage 6- Consistency – There should be a rhythm in the relationship. Dependability, reliability, trust, and respect should be solid at this point. 

Stage 7–Commitment – Both persons agree and are acting on relationship intentions and expectations moving forward.

Stage 8- Bonding -  Romantic love will heighten and the desire to mesh together your lives will begin. At this point in the relationship, both of you will begin to move, think, and act as one strong unit. The relationship will move into a stage of oneness or marriage depending on your VESPM health.

Self-Reflection Points

• Being in a relationship is a responsibility that you have to be prepared for. Another life is intermingling with your life. You need to be sure you are ready to respect them for who they are and welcome them into your space as well.

• Being in a relationship means caring about how the other person feels and caring for their needs. 

• If you or the other person are in a relationship for some selfish gain the relationship will end when that need is satisfied or no longer can be satisfied.

• You and the other person have to be on the same page when it comes to being fully connected or both of you or one of you will always be frustrated leading to an unhealthy relationship or the relationship will end.

• If you are not ready for all the responsibilities that come with a healthy relationship, it's better, to be honest with yourself and the other person and wait until the time is right.   

• Don't rush the stages if the relationship is going to last you must have a solid foundation. 

Q - In this session did you learn how to set filtered boundaries while in a relationship?

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