C7 Session 54 - Confronting & Resolving Conflict

*Personality Types

Passive -  You have boundaries but won't stand up for anything even yourself if challenged.

Passive-Aggressive - You are unwilling to express yourself using words to confront a situation directly but willing to indirectly cause trouble or mayhem in other ways.

Assertive – You are confident and self-assured when expressing your needs without disrespecting or undermining others. 

Aggressive – You are ready or likely to respond or confront with an intimidating or condescending undertone when your needs are not met. Not showing much concern for others' feelings.

Mean - You are easily annoyed or hostile.

Rage- You are mostly in an intense emotional state unwilling to maintain self-control.

*A person can switch from one personality to another at any given time depending on the situation or a medical condition.  You don't own a personality type, because as you grow you must change. However, periodically if you would like you can take an online personality test. There are many to choose from – pick a few. Have fun with it. You may learn something new about yourself!

Key Questions

WHO‘s personality type can you mostly relate to?

WHAT amount of your time, resources, and energy are you willing to give to resolve a conflict?

WHERE do you think people's personalities come from?

WHY do personalities cause conflicts when there might not be a problem?

WHEN confronting a conflict, what percentage of the issue has to do with the conflict vs personality types?

HOW are people able to come up with personality labels? Can they be true?

Self-Reflection Points

•  When confronting a passive person you want to use a very gentle and patient approach. They don’t always say what they mean. They may agree with you just to make you happy.

• When confronting a passive-aggressive person you must be honest and direct while keeping a gentle tone. They don’t always fully express themselves with outward emotions, but rest assured if offended, a swift reaction is to follow.

• When confronting an assertive person, they tell the facts and want the facts. You will usually get what you dish out. Assertive people can give a mixed message, they sometimes seem very focused on the task but enjoy small talk. However, they are more than willing to cut out some time to let you know if you are making them uncomfortable. That means checking your feelings at the door.

• When confronting an aggressive person it's best to use a humble approach. They like to feel dominant. They are great at using words and body language to try and intimidate others. Don’t come off as competitive, it will be a never-ending battle. The best way to resolve conflict is to be very direct and cut the small talk.

• When confronting a mean person always understand IT’s NOT YOU. Everyone and anyone can be a victim, even if you didn’t do anything or don’t even know the person. You may find yourself in a situation with a mean person and not understand how you got there. If or when you can reason with this person be ready to say what you mean and mean what you say. This may be the only time they will be willing to listen to you.

• When confronting a person dealing with rage, proceed with caution. This person can be unpredictable and violent. It may be best to leave the situation or seek help. If you are unable to escape be mindful of the words and actions you use until help comes. Remember survival is; freeze, flight, fight, or rescue.

Q – How did you maintain control of your emotions today? Give an example.

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